Goodbye Is Overrated
by shiksa
Summary: There will always be things you have to deal with whether you want to or not and it hurts like hell. Sequel to There's Something Wrong With Me. Tifa/Aerith, Rikku/Aqua, Xion/Luxord, Namine and Cloud not a couple. Oi vay. I DON'T OWN CHARACTERS.
1. Chapter 1

And here is the final sequel/spin off to There's Something Wrong With Me because I don't want to beat a dead horse. The title is cliche and blah blah blah but it's better than some of the other ones I had considered and I had a seriously difficult time thinking of a title. Like I had this written days ago but couldn't post for lack of a title. This is basically how certain people deal with Zex's and Dem's ending. The people who I'm gonna focus on are Tifa, Xion, Aqua/Rikku and Namine and Cloud. Sorry the first chapter is so short. Failure as a writer... -__-'

* * *

"Tifa?" The brunette rubbed her eyes as she listened to her mother on the phone. She heard Aerith grumble and turn over as she sat up and looked at the clock. It was one in the morning.

"Mom, why are you calling me at one?"

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I forgot about the time difference." Her mother choked on her words and Tifa heard a gentle sob.

"What's wrong?" Lulu tried to pull herself together.

"It's your brothers Tifa..."

"Zex and Dem? What's wrong? Are they sick?"

"Tifa, they're...gone."

"What do you mean? They ran away? Why would--"

"No Tifa...they--" She stopped to dab at her tears as Tifa's heart was slowly dropping into her stomach. "They've passed away."

"W-what?" This wasn't something Tifa could process. How could they be gone? She had just seen them a few days ago. They were fine. She thought they were fine. Had they been hiding an illness?

"I don't know how else to say it Tifa!" Lulu snapped and Tifa jumped at the sudden noise.

"I just saw them! What the fuck do you mean?!" Tifa got angry in response to her mother's anger. This was how it always worked. Aerith sat up now and rested her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, suddenly feeling nervous herself.

"Tifa this is _not_ the time for us to get in a fight!" Tifa nodded. "Tifa?"

"Yea, y-yea...mom, what happened?" She asked as she felt tears start to well in her eyes.

"It was..." Lulu cleared her throat. "They killed themselves Tifa." And the world shattered. Tifa's eyes widened and she dropped the phone. Tears streamed freely down her face. No sound escaped her mouth even though she felt like she was screaming.

_I just saw them. They were fine. They were fine. Nothing was wrong. _

"Tifa? Babe? What's wrong?" Aerith tried to coax the other girl out of this semi coma, this utter state of shock that seemed to freeze her in time. "Tif?" Whatever barrier had been blocking Tifa's throat was gone now. She let out a heart breaking scream and buried her face in her hands.

"No! NO!" She screamed over and over until Aerith looked at her with her own shock and slowly picked up the phone as Tifa slowed her screaming to simply moaning as she sobbed, holding her stomach to keep from throwing up.

"Hello? Mrs. Loire? Yes, it's Aerith...what? Oh god..." She held her hand over her mouth and looked at the weeping girl next to her. She closed the cell phone in her hands, Tifa's mother had already hung up once she couldn't hold it in anymore. Aerith could do nothing but watch as Tifa rocked back and forth slowly, trying to will herself to calm down. It wasn't working. "Tifa?" She tried but got no response except another muffled cry. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close to her chest. "It's ok...it's ok..."

"No it's not Aerith! My brother's killed themselves! They _killed themselves_!"

"Tifa...it's ok..." All she could do was hold her. And say it was ok even though she knew it wasn't. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling as Tifa shook her head violently.

* * *

This is Tifa'a response.


	2. Chapter 2

So how these two got to hear about it was kinda tough for me to come up with because they didn't know their parents and Lulu and Laguna didn't know about them so this one was kind of a challenge. But I hope you like it anyways. By the way, it's not just them finding out, this will continue for a little while.

* * *

"Hey, what do you wanna do today?" Aqua leisurely asked Rikku who merely shrugged as she laid on the blue haired girl. Aqua just laughed lightly.

"We could go to the beach!"

"I dunno. Last time, didn't we...erm, interrupt something?"

"Oh yea...well. Let's call 'em! We can all go! That way they'll know we're there and hopefully won't be canoodling right in front of us!" Rikku giggled as she sat up and reached for her cell phone. "D..Dem..." She murmured as she scrolled through the list of names. "Demyx!" She exclaimed once she found it. She bounced gently as she listened to the ringing.

"Hello?" She arched an eyebrow at the unfamiliar voice. It sounded so tired and sad.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?"

"Who is _this_?"

"This is Mrs. Loire. Demyx's mother? Now who is this?"

"Oh! Sorry! Um, where's Demyx?" There was silence on the other end, a muffled sound and then a crackling before Mrs. Loire returned.

"I'm sorry...Demyx is..." Another muffled sound and then a cough.

"Hello?" Another voice asked and Rikku looked with worry at Aqua.

"Hi? This is Rikku? I just...wanted to talk to Demyx."

"Oh god..." The voice whispered and another cough took place. "Rikku, this is Mr. Loire, Demyx's father. I'm really sorry. We were going to tell Demyx's friends later but...Demyx is gone."

"What?"

"Demyx had an unfortunate accident. And I'm afraid he's no longer with us." Rikku's wide eyes immediately began to water.

"Oh god." She said and held her hand over her mouth. "W-what happened? How is Zexion? I mean I know they were close and everything."

"Zexion is gone. They both...had unfortunate accidents."

"No..." Rikku whispered and on the other end, Laguna nodded, not knowing what to say to a girl he'd never met, informing her that her friends were both deceased.

"I'm sorry..." Laguna mumbled and tried to compose himself. He was fixated on being strong for his wife and this girl for some reason. The burden of being the strong one in the face of tragedy fell on him. "Whenever we have plans for a funeral I will be sure to call you."

"Yes. Please please do." Rikku said through her tears and gasped for air as she shut her phone. She stared blankly at the wall.

"What's wrong?" Aqua said and rested her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"No, don't touch me." Rikku jumped up from the couch and wrapped her arms around herself. Her lip quivered as she looked down with flooding eyes. "Zexion and Demyx...are um....dead. They're dead. I don't know what else to say but they're dead. And Demyx's dad or mom didn't really tell me anything except that there was an accident and..." Rikku trailed off and stared at the carpet, trying to make her lip stop shaking.

"Oh god." Aqua repeated. There were no other words for something like this. She stood and stepped closer to Rikku but the blonde only inched away.

"I don't want you to touch me. Please..." She trailed off again and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

* * *

The whole "don't touch me" thing is kind of based off me. I hate being touched, especially when I'm upset. Whereas Rikku likes being touched any other time (dirty!), I don't really like being touched at any time though haha. Obviously Rikku doesn't want Aqua anywhere near her right now.


	3. Chapter 3

Another chapter ahoy! So to anyone who will cry at this, not this chapter in particular, but the story in general, I apologize.

* * *

"I saw you talking to that boy."

"Cloud, shut up." Namine mumbled as she walked into the house in front of him, her face turning slightly red. "Dad! We're home!" She called as they walked into the kitchen but her father was there, sitting at the table, his face in his hands.

"Oh. Hey darlin'." He looked up and greeted her with a sad smile. She was lost. Cid stood and walked over to them, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close to him. Namine and Cloud looked at each other with confusion.

"Dad? What's wrong?" Cloud asked but the only response he got was his father pulling him in for a hug too. Cid took a deep breath and let them go. He looked at his children and smiled, his eyes filling. But then his face turned serious.

"Kids, I gotta talk to you about something. Sit on down." Cid resumed his place at the kitchen table and Namine and Cloud glanced at each other quickly before sitting down. "Now sometimes bad things happen for now reason...you kids know that right?"

"You're sending us back to her aren't you?!" Namine shrieked with terror.

"No! No, honey I would never do that. You're here now. You don't have to go back." Namine nodded slowly as her father grasped her hand, trying to make her heart slow down. "This is about...your cousins."

"Zex and Dem?" Cloud asked, leaning back into his chair. Cid nodded and took another deep breath.

"Kids...they've passed away." He shook his head lightly but didn't pause for Namine and Cloud to ask questions. "Apparently they were both on medication and they overdosed. Are you kid's ok?" Cid looked up now at his two children who sat there in shock. Cloud stood quickly, shoving his chair out from under him and stomped out of the room, up the stairs and to his room, slamming the door behind him. Cid looked at Namine. "You ok darlin'?" She nodded lightly.

"It's just...so sad..." She whispered and felt her eyes start to well over with tears. She wiped them away and stared at her father. He stood and walked closer to her, resting her head against his chest.

"I know honey." He said and she nodded.

"Why? Why would they..."

"Sometimes there are answers you just aren't gonna know. Sometimes people feel like they don't have any other option."

"But he seemed happy...they both did..."

"You can never tell honey." She just nodded again and wiped at her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling, silently wondering what her brother was doing.

Cloud sat on the edge of his bed, knees locked, hands locked together, staring at the carpet. He didn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He squeezed his eyes shut and then lifted his head, feeling dizzy now. He stood slowly and looked around his room and thought of his sister and the time when he thought her fate would be similar to theirs.

* * *

Poor Cloud. =[


	4. Chapter 4

And finally. Xion.

* * *

Xion felt the phone buzz in her pocket and sighed as she took it out. She gazed down at the name though and had to smile when she thought of her friend an his blonde, forbidden lover on the lam, running away to paradise.

"Hi sexy Zexy! How's the coast?"

"Xion?" Lulu asked in confusion and the girl's eyes widened immensely. He had left his phone. That idiot. Though, she supposed it made sense. No one could find them that way.

"Oh uh hey Mrs. Loire. What's crackin'?"

"Xion what did you mean how's the coast?"

"Oh that! That's not a big deal! It's just uh--"

"If you know something Xion that I don't it's essential that you tell me. Please." Xion squeezed her eyes shut and cursed herself for her stupidity. Mrs. Loire sounded so sad, so miserable. She had no idea why her two children were gone and it was obvious through her voice.

"No sorry Mrs. Loire. It's just catch phrase. Like 'what's up?'" Xion explained and had to smirk at her cleverness. She could be so quick, on her toes, when it was important. She heard a soft cry on the other end and her pride vanished. "Are you ok Mrs. Loire?"

"Sweetie, I'm afraid not. I'm afraid that Zexion and Demyx both are...gone."

"Oh no!" Xion feigned surprise. She commended herself on her acting abilities as well.

"I know it's shocking honey. But it's gonna be ok."

"Do you know where they went?"

"Oh Xion..." Lulu wiped away her tears and tried to hold back more. "They're not _gone_. Sweetie they've passed away." She received no answer. Xion was too shocked for words now. What the hell did she mean passed away? As in dead? Deceased? No longer living? She didn't believe it. It was all part of the scam, maybe to hurt their parents less.

"W-what happened?" Xion couldn't help but whisper, still trying to hold on to her last shred of hope. It was just a new part of the plan.

"They...committed suicide..." Lulu gasped out; she was so sick of saying it. Through telling people, she had found it simpler to say suicide right away as opposed to trying to dance around the facts.

"No..."

"Yes sweetie. I'm so sorry."

"No Mrs. Loire, you have to be...mistaken. I don't mean to be disrespectful but..."

"No honey. It's a sure thing. Me and Mr. Loire both...found them...." She held her stomach, trying to push the image of her dead children out of her head without vomiting. Every time she thought of it, she was hit with a giant wave of nausea. "Xion?" She asked when she head nothing for at least a minute.

"Y-yea. I'm here." Xion managed to say through her silently falling tears.

"We're just um...letting people know...we'll be sure to call you when we get closer to...the funeral."

The girl couldn't manage to say goodbye. She clicked her phone shut and stared down at the ground beneath her, watching her tears make dark, wet spots on the earth. Why would they do it? Everything was going to be fine. They were supposed to run away together and live happily ever after. Xion was supposed to live her life out knowing her best friend was happily in love and she had been able to help them somehow; she had been helping true love. Why? That's all she could seem to ask herself. It just didn't make sense in her mind. Everything was going to be fine. She slowly walked towards her car but didn't realize she was moving until she was sitting down, starting the engine. She sat there, simply staring at the wheel, not bothering to wipe away her tears. It was futile. More were coming, they just kept coming. Her phone buzzed again. She picked it up without saying a word.

"Hello? Darling? You're there?" Xion gasped and finally the silent crying was done. She cried out and rested her head on the steering wheel. "Xion? What's wrong dear?" Luxord asked on the other end.

"Oh god...oh god...." Was all she could manage to get out between crying and trying to breathe. It was too much. Too much. She couldn't breathe. Finally her eyes closed and she was unconscious, leaving Luxord on the other end to wonder what the hell just happened.

* * *

In my opinion, I think Xion trying to deal with this might be one of the hardest. I mean obviously it's extremely hard on everyone, but the fact that she knew about them and how much they loved each other just eats away at her, making her wonder why over and over again, but that'll become fairly obvious in her upcoming chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh god ok definitely been a while for this one. But anyways. Now we're back to Tifa. It's a cycle, like a specific order. An order I can't really remember right now but it's there. I'll look it up later! But I definitely know Tifa's first. And about the other day when I posted and said I was gonna post more..yea, sorry. =\ I got involved in drama and it just wasn't good. But things are better now I suppose so yea. Here's a chapter!

* * *

"Mom? Mom!" Tifa shouted as soon as she emerged through the front door. Her head desperately swiveled around, looking for familiar signs of her home, but it was different now. Everything was different now. She bit her lip and sat down on the sofa, patiently waiting for someone to come greet her, half expecting Demyx to bound down the steps with a grin and a childish wave, Zexion trailing behind him with an eye roll and gentle nod. But no one came. She heard the door click open and looked up in surprise, ready to spring up and either attack or run, she hadn't decided which.

"It's just me. I got the bags." Aerith said, dropping the two small duffels to the floor and throwing her hands up in defense. With wide, hazy eyes, Tifa nodded and looked back down at the floor; her girlfriend looked on with worry. Since that call, Tifa hadn't slept. She had become edgy and anxious. Constantly. "You wanna go up to your room? Maybe sleep some?"

"No...I'm uh....ok. I just wanna see my mom..."

"Ok babe." Aerith said with a slight nod and joined the other girl on the sofa. She wrapped her arm around her shoulder's, hoping to coax her into a coma like state, silently urging her to rest her head on her shoulder and just close her eyes for a while. It didn't last long however as the front door opened yet again and Tifa literally jumped into the air, her feet landing heavily on the floor.

"Mom!" Tifa shouted and Lulu gasped at the sudden noise. She looked back at her daughter with shock.

"H-hi sweetie. How did you get in?"

"Mom, I have a key." Tifa seemed to compose herself, trying to appear stronger than she actually was for her mother's sake.

"Oh right. I must've forgotten." Lulu chuckled lightly but it was soon cut off by a fatigued and depressed sigh. "I was just out...I had some errands to run and..." She paused to bury her face in her hands and sigh again. Like her daughter, she hadn't slept in what seemed forever, but it was more apparent on her. Lulu's advanced years over her daughter's made the bags under her eyes deeper, the lag in her walk longer and each sigh was heavier.

"Is there anything you want me to do Mrs. Loire?" Aerith asked in a soft voice, making both of the other women's eyes droop. Her voice had a calming quality like that of a warm room and a belly full of turkey; a lethal combination for someone lacking in rest.

"Oh sweetie, nothing."

"Mrs. Loire, are you sure you wouldn't like to try and sleep some?" Aerith stood and walked closer to her girlfriend's mother. Lulu nodded lightly but then shook her head.

"No honey, I have things to do still and--" She interrupted herself with a violent yawn, her entire body shaking with it's severity. "Perhaps I should lie down for a while."

"I think that sounds like a good idea Mom." Tifa said and hugged her mom before shooing her towards the stairs. Lulu smiled sadly, looking behind her once as she climbed up the steps. The two girls watched as her bedroom door shut and looked at each other with worry.

"Do you wanna go get some sleep too?"

"No no no. I'm fine. We should cook or something. Well, maybe not cook but order dinner or something."

"Tifa?" The bedroom door opened again. "Sweetie can you remind me to call people later and let them know...when the...funeral will be?" Lulu didn't think anything could have possibly been more difficult to say out loud.

"Oh mom. I can do that."

"No hun, it's not your job and--"

"Mom I can honestly handle it. Please just go to sleep." Lulu looked back at her daughter with minor deference and nodded lightly.

"Their cell phones are in the kitchen. Just...call their friends..." Lulu sighed again as she closed the door. Tifa immediately went into the kitchen and stared down at the two phones on the counter, plugged into the wall, charging for no one.

"Do...you want me to do it?"

"No. I can do it." Tifa urged herself though she wasn't sure if she could actually do it. She breathed heavily but finally picked up the gleaming blue phone that she knew was Demyx's.

* * *

So yea. I know this totally has NOTHING to do with the story but I'm watching an ad for it right now and I'm like actually kinda excited about that new movie Jennifer's Body. Is it Jennifer or Jessica? I'm pretty sure Jennifer but I can never remember exactly. Anyways. I don't watch scary movies. I'm a huge wimp with scary things. Like literally. There are parts in like kh that make me scream. Ok maybe not kh but in zelda there is. But I think that looks really good. Well not good, like not a good movie but entertaining. Yea I don't know why I bothered telling you all that but I just thought you might like to hear about some of my thoughts. No? Alright then I'll remember that for the future. =D


	6. Chapter 6

Woo hoo! Another chapter!

* * *

Aqua could do nothing but stare at the blonde, sitting far on the other end of the couch. It was different now. Before, they would lazily lay upon each other, limbs intertwined, fingers straggling through hair but now Rikku wouldn't allow it. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and sighed as she pulled it out, but her breath was immediately caught when she saw the name pop on the screen. Demyx. She looked over at her 'girlfriend', staring blankly at the screen, her eyes glazed over and her breathing shallow. Aqua opened her phone quietly and stood up, trying to leave the room but she could hear Rikku's head whip over, bolting through the silence of the room. She walked into the kitchen, escaping Rikku's targeted gaze.

"Hello?" She asked with a raspy voice. It felt like weeks since she had uttered a word. In reality it had been about three hours.

"Hi is this um Aqua?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"This is uh Tifa. Demyx's...sister." Aqua cleared her throat and nodded, but finally pushed something incomprehensible through her sore, dry throat. "We just wanted to...inform you I guess that the funeral is going to be on sunday. At two. At the little church on the corner of fifth and lincoln?"

"Yea uh yea I know it."

"Ok, I guess we'll um see you there then." The perturbing silence lingered on the line along with them.

"I'm really...sorry." Aqua whispered and wiped at her own eyes. She could hear a shuffling on the line.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for you too. I mean you lost someone too..." Tifa on the other end tried to hold it together, tried to not completely start weeping to this poor girl on the other line who she didn't know, who didn't know her.

"Listen um I and Rikku? We're on both of their phones. So you don't need to call me again. And please. _Please_. Don't call Rikku. I'll tell her everything." Tifa whispered the message to Aerith who merely nodded.

"Alright. Um Thanks and everything I guess. We'll see you on sunday."

"Yea." Aqua hung up and shoved the phone back into her pocket, walking slowly back into the living room and sitting softly. Rikku's eyes didn't leave her, she simply watched with wide eyes. "It's sunday." The blue haired girl said simply, knowing exactly what Rikku wanted to know. "At two. In that little church place a couple blocks over." The blonde nodded and refocused her eyes on the muted television. "Aren't you gonna say anything?"

Rikku ignored the tears welling in her eyes.

"Talk." Aqua said in a saddened tone, practically begging.

She could feel the tears traveling down her face, sliding across her cheeks and dying on her lips. She took a deep breath and practically choked from the sudden and deep intake of air.

"Talk!" Aqua screamed and jumped up from the sofa, glaring down at her girlfriend, the one she was supposed to love, the one who she was supposed to be able to help and have help her. But right now. Right now this was nothing. Rikku was a fucking puppet. Going through the motions of every day. Saying nothing. Feeling nothing. Doing _nothing_. "Rikku god dammit will you fucking say something?!"

"GET OUT!" Rikku finally cried out and glared up at Aqua who could only stand before her in shock.

"W-what?"

"You want me to fucking talk I'm talking! Leave! I want to be alone right now but you don't fucking get that do you?!"

"I'm just trying to _be_ here for you!"

"I don't want you here." Rikku said simply. No increase in volume, no hidden emotions behind the statement, no sinister glares to accompany it. She merely looked back at the TV and practically whispered it. "Just go." So Aqua did just that. She picked up her jacket and slammed the door as she walked out. Breathing heavily, she looked at the door in front of her. Her eyes narrowed and she screamed out as she kicked the porch. But her anger didn't last long. The emotional, touching, crying girl fell to her knees on the pavement, burying her face in her hands and sobbing as her seemingly emotionless, cold girlfriend sat on her couch, staring blankly at her television, ignoring the tears in her eyes and praying that no one would touch her ever again.

* * *

Everyone deals with things in their own way. that's the essential point of this story I guess. If it even has a point which I'm not sure it does but it does give me some kinda weird kick to write angsty stuff. Especially fights like this with a couple I'm sure most of you didn't assume could be so angsty. Ah yes. Even the bubbly Rikku can angst with the best of 'em.


	7. Chapter 7

I've gotta be honest when I say I don't enjoy writing Namine and Cloud as much as I enjoy writing some of the others but I think these will get better (and easier) after a while. Right now everything's a little rocky.

* * *

"Hey! Hey Namine! Wait!" A british accent sung out through the air as Namine tried to walk out of the school, ignoring everyone around her. But once this certain voice happened to make itself known, she couldn't ignore any longer. The tiny blonde girl turned quickly with open eyes, looking for the boy she knew was coming. "I was waiting for you by your locker but you never showed up." He said with a coy tone and a smirk.

"Oh yea uh I just left straight from class."

"You don't need anything else?" She shook her head and he shrugged. "Oh um...ok. So I was wondering kinda if you were busy this weekend?" She blinked and an image ran past her eyelids.

"I am busy this weekend." Namine replied sadly and looked down at the books in her hands.

"Oh...then maybe next weekend? Do you wanna do something?"

"Balthier, that sounds really nice but--"

"Namine!" Cloud yelled down the hall once he spotted his sister.

"Yea! I'm coming!" She yelled back and turned to smile sheepishly at Balthier who looked with wonder between the two blondes. "I'm sorry." Namine said quickly and walked away even quicker.

"Oh it's fine I guess I'll just..." The young man blathered on but Namine was already right next to Cloud who glared down the hall.

"Stop it." Namine hissed and scowled up at her brother.

"Stop what?" He asked with fake confusion.

"Do you have to scare away everyone?" She asked bitterly as they walked towards the car.

"Yes. It's part of my job to protect you. I'm your brother."

"Did you ever consider I don't _need_ your protection?!" She snapped and Cloud looked back down at her with slight amusement. Namine merely rolled her eyes and stormed away.

"Am I not driving you now?"

"I can walk." She yelled without looking back at him, focusing on her feet slamming down on the pavement. Her brother could only get in the car and drive home, knowing exactly which way she would take and how slowly he had to go to get home at the same time. His calculations were correct. He pulled into the driveway simultaneous to her turning the corner. He leaned against the door to wait for her. "You don't need to wait for me."

"I wanted to." He said simply and Namine rolled her eyes, bit her lips and failed at holding back tears. Her long blonde hair shook from side to side as she tried to breathe in.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Why don't you cry? Why don;t you do anything?"

"I just--"

"Get out of my way." She grumbled as she pushed his arm from blocking her and wiped at her eyes. Cloud watched her walk into the house and sighed.

"What the fuck."

* * *

Yep Cloud still hasn't cried. Don't worry. You'll know when he does.


	8. Chapter 8

These have been superbly easy to crank out lately which is nice. I like this series. I think I've only got two more chapters for each. Maybe three. Which still means I've got like 8 or 12 chapters still to write. -__-' But like I said. They haven't been too hard. At least I have them basically planned out.

* * *

Xion closed her eyes and breathed in, inhaling the enjoyable, warm scent wafting off the man beneath her. Her fingers rested on his stomach as her head bobbed slowly with his gentle breathing. She hadn't been home or to school in the past three days, since she got that phone call from Zexion's mom. She tried not to think about it. Every time she did, she was completely overcome with tears, sobbing, trying to breathe. She didn't remember much after hearing Mrs. Loire's words.

_"They...committed suicide..."_

She remembered not believing it but then nothing. Nothing until Luxord woke her up. She remembered her eyes fluttering open and seeing his face, feeling his hands on her face and then remembering her best friend and not being able to stop crying for the rest of the night. Xion had been staying in his apartment, completely unwilling to face the outside world. She flipped through channels absentmindedly during the hours she should've been in class, patiently waiting for him to walk through the door, and then clinging to him like a child for the hours remaining in the night. Luxord hardly slept. The moment he walked through the door, her head would shoot up like an animal hearing a noise in the distance. He would smile and come to sit by her on the sofa, she would immediately wrap herself around him. He would look at her with worry as he made her food. He comforted her, he held her, he had sex with her, he would watch her as she slept. But eventually he would fall asleep and Xion wouldn't have to keep her eyes closed anymore. She would do what she did every night, simply be there and forget about he real life that she was sure she would have to return to eventually. Her parents would only buy the whole 'I'm staying at a friend's' for so much longer. Xion sat up and looked around the dark room, listening to Luxord breathe. Her phone buzzed. She looked at it uncertainly before looking at the name.

_Zexion_.

"Hello?" She said quietly, pulling on a blue button down shirt and tip-toeing out of the room on her bare feet.

"Hi Xi."

"Aerith." Xion said sadly, already feeling her eyes welling up. She shook her head and sighed. "How's everyone? Tifa? And you?"

"No I'm fine. Everyone's fine. Just..."

"Yea. No I know." Aerith nodded on the other end. She had taken on the grieving task of Zexion's phone and she had finally made it through. Finally Xion came up on the list and she knew it was over. After everyone else, she finally came to Xion and took a deep breath.

"The funeral is on sunday. At one."

"Did you call Vinny and Gen yet? Do you want me to do it?"

"No no they know. They said they're worried about you though. Xion you haven't been in school the past three days. And not home. Where are you?" Aerith asked with worry. It was true that Aerith had been a senior when Xion was a freshman, and normally that seemed grounds for not knowing each other, but Xion befriended Zexion and Zexion's sister dated Aerith and it had become customary for all of these people, these _kids_ to care about each other. Xion looked around the darkened living room and sighed gently.

"I'm nowhere. I'm fine. I'll go to school tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's friday. That's all you have to do is one day alright? Just let Vin and Gen know you're ok." Xion nodded and rubbed her eyes, she was exhausted. The thought of going back to her life already physically exhausted her. "I'm sorry for calling so late."

"It's fine. I wasn't sleeping anyways."

"I'll see you sunday alright Xi?"

"Yea. Bye Aerith."

"Bye bye." Their hands went to hang up.

"Wait! Aer!" Xion whispered loudly and the girl on the other line brought the phone back up. "I've missed you."

"I miss you too." She said with a small smile, the only she had managed all day. Xion nodded silently on the other end and hung up, shuffling her feet as she walked back into the room. Luxord stirred in bed and looked up at her with tired, glassy eyes.

"Alright love?"

"Mhm. Fine." She whispered as she crawled back into the bed and curled up beside him, liking it when he laid his arm over her body. "Wake me up tomorrow alright? I'm just gonna...go to school."

"Alright. Whatever you say darling." He said with a tired sigh and kissed her neck before falling asleep again. Xion caressed his arm and eventually, fell asleep herself.

* * *

She seems fine right now kinda right? Yea we'll see.


	9. Chapter 9

Tada! It's like a magic trick when these things come out! =D Anyways! Basically, I really wanna write this so I can get to Xion's chapter for this part because I'm oh so looking forward to it! Enjoy this!

* * *

Tifa snapped the phone shut and set it back down on the kitchen counter. It was finally done. She never thought she would have to repeat so many times at once that her brothers were dead, no, it wasn't an accident, the funeral was on sunday and yes, thanks for their condolences. The brunette, her eyes heavier than the hour before, looked at her girlfriend clicking her own phone, or rather Zexion's phone, shut.

"That was Xion. She was the last name in Zex's phone." Aerith couldn't bring herself to look up. She stared down at the piece of plastic in her hands, it seemed so breakable. She wanted to break it for some reason. "Are you done baby?" She finally managed to force her eyes to turn and look at the girl she loved and she felt lighter. She felt selfish for feeling lighter and she looked down at the phone again, letting it's weight weigh down on her completely, not wanting to suffer any less than Tifa was.

"Yea. Um. I'm done." Tifa didn't even notice Aerith's dilemma with looking at the cell phone. She was too captivated by the gleaming blue plastic of Demyx's phone. She pushed it away, watching it icily slide away, down the tiling layered across the counter and smacked against the wall, a sound that made Aerith jump up and look at Tifa. "We should order that food."

"Are you hungry?"

"Well...no. But aren't you?"

"I'm fine." Aerith responded with a sad smile. She had to suffer just as much as Tifa.

"My mom might be hungry..."

"Tifa, she's still sleeping. And I have a feeling she's going to be sleeping the rest of the night."

"What about my dad?" Suddenly Tifa felt her eyes sting. "What if he's hungry when he comes home and there's no food?" She whimpered sadly, her breathing shallowly flowing from her throat, traveling slowly from her lungs, up her throat and barely escaping.

"There is food here sweetie. He's a big boy. I think he can make himself something."

"But...what if he's hungry Aerith? And he's too tired to make something?" Tifa knew she was being completely irrational but she couldn't ignore this overwhelming need to take care of her parents, this uncontrollable demand from her soul to be maternal and fix everything. She'd never felt that before. Well. Maybe once. Once when her mother brought the twins home from the hospital, when she was six and all she wanted to do was pretend to be their mother. Until Zexion pulled her hair and Demyx threw up on her and then she was done playing mommy forever. Or at least up to this point.

"Tifa." Aerith stood up and walked the short distance to stand in front of her girlfriend. She firmly took her hands, enveloping them and Tifa looked up at her, not bothering to try and take her own hands back, not wanting them back for now. "I promise you that your father can make his own dinner. I promise you that nothings going to happen."

"But Aerith..."

"No. Come on. We can go watch TV. If we're not hungry and you mother's asleep, he will completely understand." Tifa could only nod and let her lover guide her to the living room. They sat on the sofa. Aerith flicked on the television and felt a wave of relief as Tifa laid her head down on her shoulder, loving the feeling as her arms wrapped around her and sighing happily as Tifa took a heavy breath and nestled her head in the crevice of Aerith's neck, a habit that she was unaware was hereditary. And no words could describe not only Tifa's relief but especially Aerith's when she looked down and saw that Tifa had drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Is this one short? I don't really know. In case anyone has noticed, I use the TV _a lot_ in my writing, and it's usually in really angsty situations. It's not just cuz I watch a lot of TV. I always see the TV as kind of background noise to life, it's a calming source. At least to me ya know? (haha Rai XD) So yea. Essentially I use TV a lot because I find it kind of funny how something so mundane and every day can provide such a serious comfort. I mean, I can barely sleep without my TV on. The light and the sound is just...I dunno. It's comforting!


	10. Chapter 10

OMG it's another one in the same day!! Holy hell!

* * *

"I don't understand what the hell is wrong with her!" Aqua screamed, not bothering to wipe her eyes. She didn't care at all that tears were streaming down her face, blurring her vision, making her face damp, puffed and red. She collapsed onto the edge of her bed and buried her face in her hands, trying to catch her breath, trying to just stop crying. This was too fucking much. Her friends were _dead_, her girlfriend was turning into a stone cold bitch and now her brother was staring at her like she was an idiot. "Fucking say something! I don't want to be around another her!" She yelped and Riku sighed and leaned down on his knees, turning his head to look at his sister.

"I don't know what you want me to say." He replied simply and calmly. She hated him. She hated him for being so fucking calm. All the time. It didn't matter what happened. When their grandmother died, when their father moved out, when their mother turned to alcohol to solve her problems, when his best friend almost died from an overdose of cocaine.

"I just want you to fucking say what you're thinking." She begged with an exasperated sigh. "And hand me those tissues." Riku smirked as he handed her the box sitting on the corner table.

"I'm thinking you're overreacting."

"What?" She asked in shock.

"Ok Aqua don't take this wrong but everyone kinda deals with things in their own way and you pushing KK isn't going to make her change."

"How can you say that to me?" She started to sob again and wiped away her tears. Riku rolled his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. His sister Aqua had always been emotional, occasionally pushing on ridiculous and obscene scenes of personal torment. He wasn't saying it was wrong. It was just her way of dealing, he only wished she could see that.

"I'm just trying to get a point across Aqua. Why did you come to me for advice when you pretty much knew this is what I would say?"

"I was hoping you'd be more sympathetic in this situation."

"Well that was obviously a wrong assumption."

"How can you be such a jerk at a time like this?!" She cried out in anger and Riku could only roll his eyes again.

"Ok, I'm sorry but you're not really taking into consideration KK's feelings. If she doesn't wanna be touched, don't touch her. If she doesn't want to talk, don't try and make her talk. And if she wants to be left alone, just leave her alone Aqua! She will call you when she's ready." The blue haired girl sat silently sniffling and wiping her eyes and eventually looked up at her brother and sighed. He was right. Riku was always right. Why the fuck was her little brother so much better at stuff like this than her?

* * *

Aha. So going into this I was totally not expecting to make Riku Aqua's brother but it opened a door to a whole world of irony and inside jokes. I felt like it made a little bit of sense at least. And is it bad that this chapter gave me an idea for _another_ freaking story? ;-; I promised this would be the last sequel/spin off, but technically the other story I thought of would just take some characters and really have nothing to do with Demyx and Zexion but...dammit. I already have too many stories. ;-; (yes another sad cry-y face)


	11. Chapter 11

God I really wish these ones were better. =\

* * *

Namine walked down the stairs slowly, knowing her brother and father were sitting right in the living room, right on the sofa she had to pass to get out of the house. She took a deep breath, held her head high and walked straight for the door.

"Hey hun. Where ya off to?" Cid asked with a small grin, watching his daughter not very sneakily try to get out of the house. He knew she wasn't looking for permission, she'd leave with or without it.

"Out." Was her only response and without so much as a glance behind her at the two men, she walked out the door.

"You're just gonna let her leave?" Cloud asked with surprise.

"What do you propose I do? Restrict her and lock her in her room?" Cid asked his son with a smirk and Cloud looked back at the TV with a scowl.

"I didn't say that."

"In fact, I think you should go out too. Gotta be something that interests you right?" Cloud shrugged. "Come on." Cid nudged his son's shoulder and the young man rolled his eyes.

"I dunno." Cloud said with a sigh and squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Well I'm off to bed. If you wanna go out, nothings gonna stop ya."

"I think I'd rather just stay in. Since we're leaving tomorrow and all."

"Whatever you say." Cid rested his hand on the back of his son's neck, only hoping that this would pass soon. Cloud watched his father climb the steps, noticing a limp on his right leg, a clenching of his knee and his grip on the railing tighten. Cloud wondered how old his father was and with that, decided maybe he should go out.

~0~

By this point, Namine had already been picked up and taken to the decided location. Balthier glanced over and smiled at her.

"I was really glad you called me Namine." She only nodded. "It just seemed like you could...use some time out of your house. Maybe away from your brother?"

"Can we not talk about my brother please?"

"Oh yea. Uh sorry. I just noticed that he's kinda been on your case lately and I thought I could be of help." Namine tried to conceal her small grin by gazing out the dark window. "Do you wanna get out?"

"What?" She asked back in surprise.

"It's a park." He replied with a smirk. "There are swings." He added as he opened his own door, quickly walking around to get hers as well.

"It's dark." Namine argued with widened eyes and little enthusiasm. Balthier simply clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

"Nothing's gonna happen. Promise." He said with a grin and gently grabbed her wrist, playfully pulling her out of the car. The tiny blonde girl followed reluctantly, but eventually decided to trust him as she sat on the piercingly cold rubber of the swing, watching Balthier closely as he walked behind her. She jumped slightly at his hands on her shoulders and he chuckled.

"So. We've never really talked about anything but school. What's new in your life?" Namine laughed bitterly as she felt her eyes well up, silently thanking god or whoever there was for the darkness to cover them up.

"Nothing really." She said with a shrug just as he started to push her forward.

"Oh come on. I'm sure something's going on." Namine sighed and looked up at the moon, feeling the tears full blown now, streaming down her face. She felt completely ridiculous.

"Well my brother's an unfeeling asshole. My cousins, who were my fucking _heroes_ killed themselves. And now I feel like my life is falling apart. I don't know what to do and I don't know that even if I did, I'd do it." She expected a sudden halt in the pushing, an instantaneous shocked reaction, but her movement didn't cease. Balthier's hands met her shoulders again and again as he continued to thrust her forward, the chains doing most of the work. Namine turned her head as far as she could, barely making out in her peripheral the sight of Balthier merely nodding. "That's it?" She asked with surprise.

"What?" He asked with his own amusement. "You want me to pretend to be shocked?"

"I just told you a life crisis. I'd at least expect sympathy." She said, her eyes narrowing at him. And then the pushing stopped; she nearly toppled off the rubber seat and face down on the wood chips. The sound of his feet, rustling the chips, wood scraping wood scraping more wood scraping the plastic bottom of the confined 'play area'. And then he was facing her. Balthier grabbed the chains, stopping any leftover motion of the swing and leaned down, hovering above her.

"I'm really sorry they passed away. I'm sorry you lost your heroes. I'm sorry you think your brother is just a dick." Namine wiped her eyes as she stared up at him. "And I'm sorry you're hurt. But Namine...everyone gets hurt." He shrugged gently and she could've slapped him, but then she didn't know why. He was right. In a very incorrect way, he was right. The young blonde girl sighed and hung her head but soon lifted it up again. "I am really sorry though." He assured her, not wanting to come off as a complete ass. She nodded and for a moment, all either could do was stare at the other.

"Balthier?" Namine whispered, not able to muster a stronger voice. He looked at her, waiting for more. "Would you kiss me?"

Before she could explain herself, before he had made a vocal answer, their lips met. It was brief and soft and sweet and that was it. Namine and Balthier smiled at each other.

* * *

Just in case anyone doesn't know, Balthier is from FF12. He has a lovely British accent. At least from what I can remember...? I might be making that part up. ^_^' Anyways, this is the direction that Cloud and Namine are going in. Cloud is contemplating his mortality, knowing he's going to die someday, faced with a tragedy and realizing his humanity. And Namine is going out to kiss boys. Haha just kidding! Well I mean, not really. That's true but Namine isn't just kissing boys. She's contemplating mortality too, hence the new found bravery. Tada! AND NOW I CAN WRITE XION'S CHAPTER! Can anyone tell I'm completely biased and she's totally my favorite to write?


	12. Chapter 12

Yay for Xion's chapter! Fair warning? This one, even I consider to kinda be a heart wrencher.

* * *

The day had been tirelessly annoying, tedious and seemingly unnecessary. Xion being in school was useless. She couldn't focus on anything throughout the whole day, merely staring out the window or drawing numerous lines on her paper. By the end of the day, she had filled seventeen pages, front and back, with vertical lines, less than a quarter of an inch apart. Mindlessly walking out of the school, she didn't notice when Gen and Vincent drove up next to her, or when they screamed at her and barely noticed when they honked. It wasn't until they were forced to nearly run her down that her head bobbed up and she looked at them with empty eyes.

"Need a ride pretty girl?" Vincent asked with a gentle smirk. She shook her head.

"I have my car."

"Somehow I don't think you should be driving." Gen said and stepped out of the car to let her in. Xion rolled her eyes but sat down in the car anyways. "Gimme your keys and I'll take your car home." She handed them over and he exchanged a worried glance with Vincent before he slammed the door and Vinny drove away.

"Xi, are you okay?" He asked quietly. She gazed out the window and shrugged.

"I really don't know if I'll ever be okay again."

"I know it's hard right now Xi but I'm sure they had a reason. Zexion wouldn't have done something like that without a reason." Xion nodded but then it sank in. That was true. Zexion would never do anything like that without a damn good reason and she had a feeling she knew what it was. Her eyes widened and she sat up in her seat, suddenly alert, her head darting around.

"Can you take me home?" She asked hurriedly.

"That's the way I'm headed." Vin said as he turned the wheel, not noticing her sudden perk up. Xion could barely sit still as he drove down the street, but once he pulled into her driveway, she was out of the car in seconds. She impatiently bounced as she watched her car come towards her and she practically pulled Gen out as she jumped in herself. Her foot pushed to the metal, her two friends watched in astonishment as she sped away from them.

"What the hell?" Genesis asked and looked at Vincent who merely shrugged.

"Who knows with her. Wanna get something to eat?" Genesis shrugged now but got in. He stared out the window until he ventured to do what he knew wouldn't go over well. He looked over at the driver and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Vin?" He hummed in response. "Do you..." He stopped himself.

"Yes." Vincent answered simply, knowing exactly what was coming. His grip on the steering wheel tightened and his eyes refocused on the road before him.

"It wasn't your fault ya know." Genesis looked out his window.

"I sold him the pills. How is it not my fault?" Vincent looked over at him but Gen only shrugged again.

"If it was gonna happen, it was gonna happen."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Genesis asked with narrowed eyes, watching the trees outside blur past him.

"Do you wish you would've told him how you felt?"

"He knew. There was someone else."

"What?"

"Yea. He never told us or anything but he told me there was someone else. He was really...in love." Genesis smiled lightly and looked down at his hands. Even if he couldn't have had him, he was glad Zexion got to be happy, at least for a while.

"So you told him then?"

"Well, I think my words were something along the lines of 'I want you'."

"Classy Gen." Vincent said with a smirk and looked over at him. Genesis chuckled and then looked at the driver; his laugh intensified until Vincent was laughing along with him. Their uproarious laughter made the car seem to shake. Vincent had to pull over. He leaned down on the steering wheel as the passenger leaned back, staring at the ceiling. Genesis reached up and wiped his eyes, they were watering fiercely, as if he were sobbing. He looked over at Vincent who was rubbing his own eyes and finally looked at him too. The laughter obscenely increased, more water flowing freely from their ducts.

"Fuck." Genesis managed to gasp out and breathed heavily. "Fuck!" He screamed out, getting out the remainder of his giggles. They stared at each other until the laughter was gone and only somber smiles remained. "I miss him a lot."

"Me too. Yea...me too."

~0~

Tires squealed as she pulled into the oh so familiar driveway. Xion jumped out and rushed to the front door, banging a little too loudly for the inhabitants of the house. Aerith answered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her and Tifa had slept for almost fifteen hours straight on that damn sofa.

"Xion?" She asked and the small girl smiled, covering her intense anxiousness and remaining sadness. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to just...I wanted to see his room...just one more time." She forced her smile to remain through the tears that were falling now, slowly rolling down her cheeks. Aerith felt her heart ache, nodded and moved to the side. "Thank you. Thank you Aer." Xion rushed into the house and clambered up the steps, pushing herself into his room and slamming the door behind her, pressing her back against it and let her eyes dart frantically around, looking for anything, for proof, for reason.

At first she just looked, trying to find something meaningful, some sort of obvious clue but there was nothing. Her heavy breathing, her swirling head, her water stained face. She broke. Her mind snapped. She ran to the desk, trifling through every paper, throwing them aside when she read them all as homework. Xion pushed every book off every shelf, waiting for something to come fluttering out. Nothing. She dug through clothes on the floor, she tossed the blankets off the bed, she ripped open the closet and hurled everything in it out. Absolutely nothing. There had to be something. Xion looked around her, at all the havoc she had wreaked, at the chaos she had caused. She smiled, tears still streaming down. And then she giggled. She had just made her inner chaos a physical action. The way he had destroyed her by doing _this_, she had destroyed everything he loved. But it didn't matter. He wasn't even around to love it anymore. She started to weep again and she buried her face in her hands and fell to her knees in the middle of the room. Her body slumped down, each sob making her body shake and as she laid herself down, curling her legs up, practically into her, she wrapped her arms around her knees, drawing them closer. Her eyes squeezed shut, her heart throbbing, her throat too hoarse to try and make a sound, she opened her eyes and there it was. A lone piece of paper just under the edge of the bed, hidden from plain sight if you weren't looking for it. Xion crawled forward slowly, praying this was what she wanted. Her fingertips touched it, she dragged it towards her, she pressed it against the carpet, not willing to look at it yet. She sat up and then picked up the paper. Xion stared at it, not yet reading the words. She saw the name.

_Demyx_

Scrawled at the bottom. She read the note and there it was. There was her reason. There was the reason for everything. She sobbed, she laughed, she sighed with relief. She just wanted to know, she needed to know there was a reason. After reading it again and nodding silently, Xion stood and wiped her eyes as she looked at her desolation again. She remade the bed the way it was, she pushed his clothes back in the closet, she reshelved his books, she put the papers back on his desk. The room went back to looking as if Zexion would walk back in and ask her why she was there, with that stupid smirk or with a sigh, she could never tell which it would be. Xion folded the note and slipped it into her pants pocket. Quietly walking down the stairs, she felt Aerith watch her.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Aerith asked, her face resting against her propped up fist. Xion looked at her with surprise. "Closure?" She defined her words. The smaller girl swallowed heavily and looked down at her hands in her pockets, letting her thumb gently glide across the paper.

"Yea..." She nodded and then smiled at Aerith, her eyes still watering but seeming to get better.

"I'm glad." Aerith nodded and stood up, walking towards her. She wrapped her arms around the younger girl who sighed against her shoulder. "Xion? I'm so sorry."

"I know. I am too."

* * *

So. In this chapter, we have Vincent and Genesis' reactions. They don't go to high school anymore. They go to a community college basically and they just came to make sure Xion was ok. Why? Because they're best friends. And Xion finds the note. She finally gets her answer as to why they did it. Next chapters are gonna be the funeral. Everybody ready? By the way, in case anyone wants to read the note, it's the last chapter of There's Something Wrong With Me, for those of you who want a refresher and those of you who haven't read it. Also! Would anyone think it terrible of me to start putting up one of my new stories? I already have the first chapter of one written and I hate that it's just sitting there. =\


	13. Chapter 13

Tadaaaaa.

* * *

Two cherry wood caskets sat at the front of the room. They looked empty, they looked hollow, they had no value in her life. But Tifa was perfectly aware they weren't empty, not at all. She tried to convince herself it was true, they were just wooden boxes. She didn't want to think about the people inside them, her brothers laying cold and motionless, without breath or heartbeat. Tifa squeezed her eyes shut and focused on breathing, curling her fingers around the edge of her chair.

"Tifa?" Aerith asked softly as she sat down beside her. "Are you alright?" Tifa only nodded, still trying to breathe. "Ok..." Aerith looked ahead of her and sighed without a noise. She wondered silently how long it would be like this and then silently suffered through her guilt for such a terrible thought.

"Hey there Lulu." Cid announced quietly as he and his two children walked into the room. Lulu's head darted up and she smiled sadly.

"Thanks for coming." She said and Laguna nodded at his ex brother in law.

"Of course!" The older blonde man said louder as he walked towards the adults, leaving his kids lingering at the entrance.

"Hey guys." Tifa managed to pull herself together for a moment and stand up, wiping her sweaty hands on her thighs, forgetting she was wearing a dress and making it wrinkle up against her leg, exposing her skin as she dragged her hands back up.

"Hi Tifa." Namine said with a small smile, trying to appear as sturdy as her brother seemed to be. But she couldn't do it. As soon as the words left her mouth, she started crying yet again. She rolled her eyes as she dabbed at them and Tifa managed to laugh through her own tears starting to fall. The brunette walked over to the petit blonde and wrapped her arms around her, bringing her into a tight grasp. She pressed her cheek against the mass of blonde hair, piled up and clipped, creating a convenient cushion. Tifa sighed happily for once and let her eyes flutter open. They were automatically locked with Cloud's, looking at her with mild amusement. She laughed again and extended an arm to pull him into the hug too.

"I'm really glad you guys came out." Tifa said to them with another heavy breath of relief.

"Tifa, there wasn't a chance we _weren't_ going to come out." Cloud replied with a smirk and she smiled against the pillowy, feathered mound.

"Tifa?" Aerith asked from behind the awkwardly close family hug, her hands clasped together, hanging down in discomfort.

"Oh god! I'm sorry!" Tifa said in surprise at herself. "Guys, this is my girlfriend Aerith." She walked over and grabbed Aerith's hands between her own, smiling at them and then back at her cousins. She hadn't smiled in seemingly so long, it made the muscles of her jaw hurt. "And Aerith, these are my cousins Cloud and Namine."

"Oh, you're here with...your dad?" Cloud and Namine looked at her with confusion and Tifa's smile softened.

"They live with their dad now." Tifa whispered to her.

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't know!"

"It's ok." Namine said with a light laugh, rubbing her fist under her eye childishly.

"It's actually a charming story." Cloud added with a smirk as he recalled the family dinner. He and Tifa exchanged a glance, their eyes bright with remembrance before Namine burst into laughter. Cid looked across the room in shock at the sound of his daughter laughing. It felt like forever and Cloud felt it as well, the weight of the world left his shoulders with that melodic giggle.

"With Zex...completely...losing it! He just...started screaming at her!" Namine explained through giggles. Aerith listened and watched the little blonde grasp her stomach in joyous pain. "All because...he didn't get to sleep. And he just..." Namine stopped and let her giggles fizzle out. "He was really brave." She said with a smile and looked around at her brother, her cousin and her cousin's girlfriend.

"Yea he was." Tifa greed with a nod and absentmindedly gripped Aerith's hand tighter. "Did you guys ever hear about us trick or treating when we were little?" Cloud and Namine shook their heads. "It was really funny. Well, now it is. Demyx and Zex were eight and I was thirteen and for the first time ever, our parents had decided to let us go out on our own, assuming I was old enough and responsible enough to watch them. They were dead wrong." The brunette said with a smile as she stared down at the carpet, gently sitting down in a chair as everyone else sat around her. "I went to one house, three seconds and they were gone. Just completely gone. I ran down the street looking for them and finally when i found them, they were surrounded by a crowd of bigger kids, guys I went to school with. They had knocked Demyx over and he was sitting on the ground crying...they had stolen their candy. I tried to stop them but they pushed me down too. Assholes. And I just remember seeing Zex. He just stood there, this completely calm look on his face. He looked indifferent, ignorant to the laughter around him. And suddenly one of the guys laid his hands on his shoulders to push him down, but Zexion just looked up at him as if nothing were going on. And BAM!" Tifa yelled out and smacked her hands together, making everyone jump slightly. "Zex kneed him straight in the groin! The kid went down like a brick and the other guys just looked at little Zex with horror. No one was man enough to try and take him on again and Zexion looked at all of them. He said 'give him his candy back' and pointed at Demyx on the ground, wiping at his eyes. And then he said 'help my sister up' and they did it. They gave the candy back and helped me up and then Zex said 'now go.' And they did that too. And then he walked over and smiled down at Demyx and helped him up. And the little blondie just giggled and ate a piece of candy like nothing had happened. Zex may have been smaller but he was always...Demyx's protector. He was _always_ there for him." She giggled and ignored the tears welling up at such pleasant memories. She wasn't going to tell them about the time she screamed at Demyx for wearing her lipstick or ignored Zexion for a week because he wouldn't let her borrow his CD player or when she tackled both of them simultaneously when they were fourteen because she thought they were making fun of her. This was a story where for once, they had gotten along, they had stood up for each other, they were siblings to the truest extent. This was a nice story. "He was really...._brave_." Tifa ended with a look at everyone around her and took a breath of relief.

* * *

So. If you read There's Something Wrong With Me and paid attention, or at least remember this tiny detail, you'll remember _something_ happened with Demyx and Zex when they were seven, a year before this little halloween incident. I'm saying _something_ because I think there are still people who are just reading this off a whim so I don't wanna give anything away haha. But I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. By the way! I wrote a halloween one shot! And I'd really like it if people would read it! I'm gonna push this one shot as much as I can cuz it took me forever. As always, reviews are totally appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

I DESPERATELY TRIED TO POST THIS A MILLION TIMES LAST NIGHT BUT THE STUPID WEBSITE WOULDN'T LET ME!! ARGH!! Anyways, moving on from my rant...We're still in the middle of the funeral for Dem and Zex (sorry I know I take _forever_ with updates) and this is Aqau and Rikku's take on the funeral. And in case it's not blatantly obvious, THESE FUNERAL CHAPTERS DO NOT GO IN A CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. After they're all done, maybe I'll list them in the order they should go in case anyone wants to go back but for now, I'm just sticking with the outline of characters. ANYWAYS! Enjoy!

* * *

Rikku leaned against the door, subconsciously trying to stay as far away from Aqua as she could. Her cheek pressed against the cold window, she watched the road spin beneath them until it made her dizzy and she had to close her eyes. Aqua could feel the distance. It was like a fucking wall. But she was trying to be smart. She was trying to take Riku's advice and just let her girlfriend deal with things in a way she wanted. If this is what Rikku needed, this is what Aqua would give her. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter as they pulled into the parking lot of the church. They were late. Purposely. It had been agreed they didn't want to be there longer than need be. It seemed harsh considering how close they had felt to the couple despite the short period they knew each other, but it was agreed upon that neither of them could stand to be in that situation for very long.

"Do you want the radio on KK?" Aqua asked quietly and watched the blonde girls head slowly peel away from the cold glass. Rikku looked at her with empty eyes but a small smile that didn't seem to quite match.

"You haven't called me KK in a while." She whispered, her voice hoarse from the lack of speech for the past few days. Aqua turned back to watch the pavement before her, trying to ignore Rikku staring intently at her. But her eyes remained locked on the driver until the car came to a total stop. The blue haired girl walked around and opened the passenger door for her girlfriend, gently taking her hand to help her out. "Thanks..." Rikku whispered delicately and allowed Aqua to lead her into the church for what remained of the funeral. They coyly walked in and sat in the back, slinking into the very last row.

The wake was well over. The socializing and sharing of memories of the two boys was over, the part that Rikku and Aqua felt was necessary to miss. They merely wanted to pay their respects to the two boys they had known and grown to love. Rikku gazed around the room, looking at everybody. The room was filled with kids, assumably classmates and friends of the two boys who had just graduated from high school, hadn't even made it through their first summer as technical adults. She felt tears start to spill over as she thought of how they would never get to experience adulthood and she began to silently wonder what was so great about it. Maybe they were right, maybe they had taken the smart road.

Aqua on the other hand merely stared at her hands, trying to ignore everyone in the room, not particularly feeling quite in place. She felt awkward. She had never felt like this before, or at least not to such an extreme. Her and Rikku didn't really know anyone in the room until she forced herself to turn her head and realized she did recognize a few people in the room. A few of the kids? But how? She couldn't quite place it but she knew she knew them somehow. Had she just seen them around town? They did all live in the same town after all. But suddenly a tiny girl at the front, blood shot eyes, tear stained face, a comforting arm around her; this girl turned to look around the room and it hit her. Riku. Her brother went to school with these kids. Or had? Some of them she assumed had graduated since she knew Demyx and Zexion had recently. She couldn't personally name any of them. Aqua had been sent to a different school than her brother. The girl at the front, the small one with the raven black hair. That was one of Riku's friend. It had never hit her before, those seemingly innocent connections between people that didn't seem to matter until now. And she cried. Yet again. Thinking of her brother and of he had ever passed Zexion or Demyx in the hall or how this girl she was watching knew either of them or if Riku had ever hung out with Demyx or if Riku's friend Sora had ever talked with Zexion. She tried to wipe her eyes quickly but Rikku caught her. The blonde girl sitting next to her silently grabbed her hand and squeezed. Rikku realized of course what a bad girlfriend she had been recently and couldn't help feeling guilty. Perhaps this was some sort of small repayment.

The pastor took the stand.

"Loved ones, today we gather here to remember two boys who have touched our lives immensely. Zexion and Demyx were two incredibly different boys but they were bonded by blood. The bond of two brothers can't possibly be broken."

Rikku unwittingly cocked her head to the side at the sound of that word.

_Brothers? Cousins cousins brothers cousins cousins kissing cousins kissing brothers._

She rambled inside her head momentarily until it hit her that it wasn't a mistake. Aqua looked over at her with the same shocked, confused expression.

"It is so unfortunate that these two youths felt the need to take their own lives, but it is fitting that they should go together for in life, they were closer than any average set of brothers." The pastor continued.

The small girl at the front stood and ran down the aisle, bursting through the doors and screaming once she got there. The comforting arm that Aqua had seen got up and followed her. Everyone tried to readjust in their seats.

_Cousins cousins they were cousins they said cousins of course they said cousins why say brothers they were brothers. They were in love. Brothers. And love._

Rikku continued to ramble in her head, her eyes growing wider slowly, her pupils traveling around the room in confusion, not knowing who to look at, as if one glance at someone would give away the secret.

"A-Aqua...I think we n-need to go." Aqua nodded and they walked out of the door, past the girls who had left and straight back into the car, silent the whole way back to Rikku's house. The blonde opened the door, practically slamming it behind them, feeling the need to lock away the secret they now had to carry with them, air seal it in this room and never let it out. The two girls looked at each other, just looked, their eyes wide with terror, with sadness, with something they couldn't quite name.

_What did you call a feeling like this?_

It only took a second before they were entwined with each other, lips pressed against any skin they could find, fingers quickly untying and unzipping and unbuttoning.

_What was this feeling called? _

Rikku could taste tears as she kissed Aqua's shoulder, salty pain. She didn't want to be left alone anymore, she didn't want Aqua to stop holding her or touching her. Rikku needed this sense of reassurance, she needed to be comforted, to know it was ok.

_What is this?_

Aqua wasn't going to let her go. She didn't want to. She just wanted it to get better, to not feel like this anymore.

_This was love, deeper than time.

* * *

_

So yea. Now Xion isn't the only one who shares this secret. I just want everyone to imagine what Aqua and Rikku went through when they found out something like this. It hurts right? But it's a weird hurt. Anyways as always reviews are more than welcome and greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it!


	15. Chapter 15

What what?! Look at this nice long chapter of Goodbye Is Overrated! I do believe I'm getting better at prolonging the lengths of chapters. XD

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"I don't wanna be here." Namine sighed to herself, ignoring the growing regret in her stomach, overwhelmingly absorbing her wholeness. She wiped at her eyes and sighed again, even louder. She was so sick of crying. As she huddled behind the large plastic palm in the lobby, the leaves fanning out to hide her from anybody passing by, she unpinned her hair and shook it out. The tiny blonde girl shook her head harder with each second and finally slipped out the door, breathing heavily as she leaned against the wall of the building. Namine had barely been able to stand while everyone talked about them and spoke their condolences. Namine refused to sit through the funeral part and excused herself the moment she felt it coming. She had met so many people and they all seemed to swirl around in her head, dancing around as if it were a ball. She closed her eyes and imagined elegant gowns, silk and chiffon rustling and rubbing together as their partners in ill fitting tuxedos spun them around. Namine's eyes were forced open quickly by the sound of the door opening behind her. She jumped forward and turned to see the tiny blonde boy watching her with slight shock.

"Oh uh sorry." He murmured and let the door close behind him. "I didn't realize anyone else was out here." He added as he shrugged and leaned against the building where Namine had previously been imagining her inner soiree.

"That's fine. I should probably go back inside anyways." She said, twirling the ends of her hair around the tips of her fingers, preparing to pile it back on her head but the boy shrugged again.

"You can stay, I don't own the parking lot." He said and smirked at her. She felt her heart thump. He looked familiar for no reason whatsoever. "How did you know the uh...deceased?" He asked, looking for the word with a strain of politically incorrect synonyms.

"They were my cousins." The blonde girl said sadly, feeling a lump in her throat grow until she was sure the boy could see it pulsating through her esophagus.

"Well, I'm sorry for your loss then. I mean I'd be sorry no matter who they were to you. Unless you were a funeral crasher. Then I probably wouldn't be sorry." He rambled as he searched his pockets. Namine watched him with curiosity.

"People do that?"

"Oh yea. It makes them feel better or some shit. You know, the whole 'at least I'm not dead thing' but they're weirdos. And then there are the sickos who just get their jollies from people being miserable. Those are the ones who should just be locked away from society because they get off on other people's pain and that's--" He stopped when his gaze lingered over to the girl. "I-I'm sorry. I have an issue with knowing when to shut up." He apologized with a somewhat coy smirk.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Wha--"

"The people...who get off on other's pain. What is it?" Namine asked, her eyes watering.

"It's completely fucked up." He said with wide eyes, looking at her with surprise. "I'm Roxas." He said and stuck out his hand, waiting for her to shake it.

"I'm Namine." She said with a small smile and nodded gently, shaking his hand delicately in the process. "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." Roxas replied with a smile of his own as he looked at her, still digging in his pockets. "There it is!" He exclaimed as he pulled something white from his pants. He sighed happily as he placed it to his lips and pulled out a lighter. "There are so many damn pockets in this suit. I can never fucking find what I'm looking for." He said as he lit the joint, inhaling deeply, completely unaware of Namine's eyes widening as she observed.

"You have weed." She whispered with awe. "You brought weed to a funeral." She continued, her mouth slowly dropping as Roxas looked at her with an arched brow.

"And?" He asked and then rolled his eyes at himself, realizing he needed to focus on trying to be polite. "This is wrong right? Shit, I never know--"

"You are _the smartest_ person I have ever met." Namine whispered excitedly, the happiest she had felt in seemingly days. She extended her hand out and plucked the joint from his fingers, pinching it between her own as she licked her lips. She took no time before she took a deep drag, holding it and finally exhaling with a gentle cough and giggle. Roxas grinned at her before playfully snatching it back and taking two hits of his own, their laughter starting to grow and come back to them, hitting off the bricks and bouncing around. The two sank down to the ground, leaning against the wall, too tired suddenly to hold themselves up anymore. "So how did you know Demyx and Zexion?"

"I didn't. Not really I mean. I'm uh friends with someone who asked me to come." He shrugged and took another drag before passing it over to the girl. Namine just nodded her head lazily as she listened to him, his words drowning in her ears. She hadn't felt so pleasantly lazy and content in forever. Her eyes, half lidded and glazed, moved slowly around, taking in everything they could as a small grin formed itself across her lips. Roxas looked at her and started laughing again. "You're so fucking high already!" He cried out quietly and she chuckled. First slowly. Then she felt her body shaking with laughter, completely coiling into itself with each sound. Namine felt tears streaming down her face but she couldn't stop laughing, which of course only made Roxas laugh harder. They looked at each other, their eyes barely managing to stay open. The laughter died down but not in an awkward way. They were completely content to simply sit against the wall, smiling at each other, their blood shot eyes sluggishly blinking.

"I like you." Namine said with a grin, closing her eyes and aiming her smiling face at the sun above them.

"Really?" He said with a little surprise. "I mean...I just had a conversation with someone and now I'm not sure I'm all that likeable."

"You are. Trust me." The blonde girl assured him with a smile. "I like you a lot." She added with a sigh of happiness.

"Don't fall in love yet babe. I'm gay." Roxas replied with a smirk and a last hit, offering the joint to her one more time. She clasped it between her fingers and took the last good hit before stamping it out against the pavement.

"I meant in a friendly way but way to be cocky." She angled her head towards him and watched him roll his eyes with a smirk. "You know that's only like...the third time in my _life _I've smoked pot. I should do it more often." She giggled lightly but Roxas only shook his head, still smiling.

"You only like it so much right now 'cause it makes it hurt less." He said with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall. "I mean not that there's anything wrong with that. Whatever helps." Roxas shrugged gently, his eyes still closed. Namine watched him intently as she brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, trying to tuck her dress in the proper way to hide anything 'inappropriate' to the world. "I mean I _love_ weed. But for my own reasons you know? It numbs...everything." Roxas said, his eyes opening slightly as he stared out on the horizon. The suburban houses, trees, mini vans. It was all so cliche yet it interested him. "You should try it when you're happy about something. All it does is enhance it. And weed plus sex? Fucking amazing." He said and grinned at her, finding it amusing as her face crimsoned gently.

"I'll get right on that." She replied somewhat awkwardly, making the kid laugh and she followed suit. "How old are you?"

"How old are _you_?" Roxas reiterated with a curved brow and Namine smiled. "I just turned fifteen." He admitted somewhat reluctantly.

"Me too." She nodded and stared out in front of them. There was nothing. There were things, of course. She wasn't blind. But for some reason she felt as if she were staring at completely nothing. Namine smiled and sighed happily. She felt good. The best she'd felt in a long time. "Did you ever wanna just completely give up Roxas? Just lay down and die and not go any farther in life?"

"You're not gonna go all psycho bitch on me and kill me are you?" He asked with a smirk and Namine smiled at him.

"Not yet."

"Good. Because you know what? You are way too young and attractive to die."

"That means a lot coming from a gay guy." She said with a laugh and stood up, stretching down to touch her toes then reaching up to the sky, looking up at the clouds and grinning, the sun warming her face. She flushed and giggled, swishing her skirt from side to side. Then the door opened and a gigantic group of people all stared at her, swaying without music, smiling and reaching towards the sun.

"Namine?" She was completely distracted and dropped her arms immediately, her smile gone from her face until she saw who had called her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm _dancing_." The blonde girl said dramatically as she grabbed her brother's hands and started spinning around with him. Cloud watched her curiously as he whirled with her, her small fingers intertwined with his own and he smiled. The sound of his sister's giggling was flying through the air and he swung her faster, he picked her up by her waist and lifted her up and she reached for the sun. "I can touch it." She whispered and for once, didn't try wiping away her tears. "I can _touch_ the sun." Namine whispered again, squeezing her eyes shut, letting the tears fall. And suddenly she was falling. She screamed in delight and laughed loudly as she looked up at her brother, her feet firmly down on the ground.

"There she is." Cloud whispered and wiped her face. Namine laughed again and looked back at Roxas who stood with a smirk. "And who might you be?" Cloud asked with an arched brow aimed at the strange kid leaning against the building.

"This is Roxas." Namine said simply as she swayed in place, still staring up at the sun.

"Oh. Did you go to school with Zexion and Demyx?"

"Um kind of?" Roxas said. It was true after all. He had gone to the same school as them, only for a year and he couldn't recall actually ever seeing them, but he had gone to the same school. Cloud looked at him suspiciously but decided he should let it go. "Who are you?"

"I'm Cloud, Namine's brother." He said and looked back at his sister. "Everyone's coming out, it's over. It's time for the wake." Namine stopped moving and looked at her brother with wide eyes, nodding slowly.

"O-Ok." The doors erupted with people, her father seeming to lead the pack.

"Hey darlin' you ready to go?" Namine smiled up at him and nodded.

"More than ready." She said with a sigh and looked back at Roxas. She grinned and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. He was taken aback, his eyes widening suddenly, his whole body tensing but then a previous conversation ran through his head.

_People want to like you._

Roxas reassured himself and smiled lightly as he hugged her back.

"Thank you." Namine whispered and sighed heavily, letting everything go, a smile overtaking her lips.

"No problem." Roxas said as they pulled away from each other. "Give me you cell phone." He instructed and she followed directions without complaining, only smiling as she handed it over. "This." He said as he started to pound in numbers. "Is my phone number. And you should call me. Anytime. Got it?" Namine nodded at him and they hugged again before someone stood above them, his arms crossed and his smirk aimed at them.

"Well hi there." The enormous redhead said and Roxas grinned at him.

"Hi. This is Namine. She's my new friend." Roxas said proudly, his brow arched and his smile triumphant. Namine giggled embarrassedly, her nervous stomach flipping as the redhead man chuckled.

"Hi Namine, I'm Axel." The blonde girl nodded in greetings. "Ready to go?" He aimed his attention at Roxas now who only shrugged.

"Gee, are we not invited to the after party?"

"Somehow I don't think that would be smart. We already upset Xion and--"

"I get it." Roxas reassured Axel with smile and a nod. "By the way, I didn't mean to do that."

"Uh huh." Axel said as he wrapped his arm around the kid, guiding him towards the car.

"Bye Namine!" The kid shouted as he turned in the man's grasp to wave. "Remember, any time!" Namine giggled as she waved good bye at him.

"Who was that sweet pea?" Cid asked as he wrapped his arm around his daughter, grinning down at her.

"A new friend." She replied with a gentle sigh as he rested her head against her father's shoulder.

~0~

Cloud silently tipped back the remainder of what was in his glass. Wine was fucking nasty but it was all there was and he didn't feel up to being sober at the moment. He leaned casually against the kitchen counter and listened to the droning of people speaking in the living room. He smiled as he started to pour himself more.

"Gee, you're not old enough for that." He looked up suddenly and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as he set his glass down. Tifa smirked at him and walked over, leaning her back against the counter as well and staring up at him. "It's ok. I won't tell." She held up her own glass. "Pour me some." The blonde boy smirked and did as he was told.

"Thanks." He said quietly and gulped down what he had rationed to himself.

"That's not how you do it!" Tifa whispered and laughed. She slowly sipped on her own and extended her hands in example.

"No offense Tifa, but I'm not drinking this because I enjoy it." The brunette girl only nodded as she looked around the kitchen.

"I know." She sighed lightly but smiled at her cousin anyways. "You and your sister both." She laughed and leaned forward to look out into the living room where Namine was giggling and holding onto her aunt's hand, gasping out words and sighing happily.

"Wha--she's drunk?"

"Not at all." Tifa said and looked at him. "You seriously couldn't tell? She was stoned. Like super stoned after the funeral." Cloud's eyes widened with shock. Namine? Stoned? Those two words didn't seem to go together in his head at all. Tifa only laughed again.

"Is she...still?" Cloud asked as he too leaned forward to look at his smiling sister.

"No." She said with a smile. "No, she's just happy and fine." He nodded, trying to calm himself. "It's a good thing Cloud. It's a _great_ thing." She reassured him but he still seemed dumbfounded. "You know you can't protect her forever. I know you really want to, but someday you're going to have to just let her grow up. She's trying. She's trying so hard but you're making it more of a challenge than it needs to be." Tifa shook her head lightly and grabbed her cousin's hand. "I know you do it because you love her so much, but you have to let her go." She finished with a sigh and let him go and watched him stare down at his own hands. "Alright, drink your wine." She laughed lightly and reached up to ruffle his hair. Cloud only stood there and once Tifa was gone, he looked up and around the kitchen and he did something he hadn't had to do in seemingly forever. He moved his hand to his face and wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"Jesus." He whispered, looking at the wet spots on his fingers with annoyance and wonder. The brain beneath the blonde head tried to remember the last time this had happened to him and suddenly he was six and he was sitting in a courtroom and he was just sobbing like a child. Well, he was a child.

_"Cloud, sweetie, it's ok!" His aunt tried to assure him, holding his hand and nodding down at him. He was too young to understand exactly what was going on, but he got the drift of it. Somehow, in some way, his mother had figured out a way to keep him from his father. And the little brown hammer slammed down and he remembered from television that that meant it was over. He cried even harder. CId hopped up angrily, scowling at the evil woman and ran to his kids, taking them both in his arms. _

_"It's ok, it's ok." He whispered to them and Lulu held her hand over her mouth sadly, trying not to make it obvious that she had not been rooting for her sister in this case. "Namine, darlin' it'll be ok alright?" Namine wiped at her tiny four year old eyes and nodded, understanding even less than Cloud did. _

_"Mom I'm bored!" Tifa whined and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "And it's hot in here!" _

_"Tifa, not now." Lulu said quietly and Cloud looked around desperately, trying to wriggle out of his father's grasp. He should get used to it not being available he figured, even at a young age, being ever pessimistic, but he still cried. _

_"But mom!" Tifa whined loudly again. _

_"Shut up!" Cloud said angrily, his sadness quickly turning into anger. Tifa and Lulu both looked at him with surprise. _

_"You can't tell me what to do! You're five!" His cousin insisted but he scowled at her. _

_"I'm six and I don't care! Shut up shut up SHUT UP!" He screamed, stamping his feet on the ground and shaking his head violently. _

_"Hey!" Cid said and grabbed him by the shoulders. Cloud was pulled out of his tantrum in a second and looked up at his dad who stared down at him with disappointment. "That's not how we talk to family." His father stated firmly and now Cloud scowled up at him. "Nuh uh. I know you're a youngin' and I know you don't understand all this, but someday you will." Cid said sadly, wiping the quick drying, left over tears that remained on the toddler's face. "Look at your sister." He said and the young boy did as he was told. "Be good and take care of her ok? And I promise that someday, everything will be better and you won't have to do it anymore." Cloud bit his tiny bottom lip, forcibly stopping his weeping. He wouldn't do it anymore. He had to be the man now and men don't cry. _

The blonde boy, now basically a man, wiped everything off of his face and put his wine glass in the sink. He walked into the living room and looked around at everyone. His sister was laughing, his cousin was smiling, sadly but still smiling and then he spotted his father. The big man with the southern accent, the tough one, the rugged, worn out, beaten up man stood in the living room, leaning against a bookshelf and he was crying. Not sobbing or weeping, but just crying. Cloud watched curiously as he saw his dad stand and talk with his uncle, and cry. An uncontrollable force pulled him closer.

"Hey kiddo." Cid said with a smile, raising his hand to dab at his eyes. "How ya doin'?"

"A-Alright." The young man said as his father wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "Hey dad?" Cid looked at him with an arched brow and a smirk. "Um...I love you." It felt awkward, so so awkward, but he felt it needed to be said, that despite the horrible uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, it wouldn't be something he'd regret saying. And the moment his father's smile burst open, he knew he didn't regret it.

"I love you too." He said simply, shaking his son from the shoulder the way father's tend to do and Cloud nodded, feeling irrevocably weird when he knew he had to wipe at his eyes again.

"Sorry..." He said embarrassedly as he tried to strip away the tears from his face but his father only chuckled and Laguna smiled at him.

"No need to be sorry. Everybody cries son." Cloud could only nod again and sigh. "Even manly men like you and me." Cid chuckled and Cloud couldn't help but smirk because god damn was his father smart.

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ahaha I know I said at some point (or at least thought at some point) that I didn't really like doing Namine/Cloud chapters, but I have to say I liked this one, maybe mostly cuz I got to throw some Roxas in there :3 Reviews = great appreciation! :D


	16. Chapter 16

What what! Finally a freaking chapter of this. I know, it's unbelievable. I bet you people were starting to doubt me weren't you? It's ok, I was beginning to doubt myself. But here it is! The FINAL funeral chapter! There are still four more, but god only knows when I'll actually finish those.

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This was too much. It was all too much. Xion was trying to just be calm, occasionally reaching into the pocket of her sweater, gently stroking her thumb against the folded piece of paper she now acquired. It was a heavy burden that she carried but she carried it. She took it with her anywhere she'd go at this point, constantly pressing her fingers into it to reassure herself that this was real life. She stood at the front of the church, feeling so out of place, barely realizing Vincent, Genesis or Aerith were next to her, looking at her worriedly then exchanging their own concerned glances. She chose the wrong moment to look up. When Xion saw the tall, lanky redhead at the door, she could no longer contain any of the feelings inside. All the voices that were screaming inside of her, they needed to come out and unfortunately for Axel, he was the first rage inducing factor she spotted.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She hissed as she walked towards him, feeling Marluxia and Renos eyes on her back as she walked past them. She couldn't let herself care at this point.

"Xion, I'm just here-"

"No one wants you here!" Xion screeched as Axel tried to defend himself. There was no room in this argument for his words. She needed to win this one. She would not allow herself to be beaten by this asshole who she used to know. He cheated on Demyx, he basically led Dem to Zexion, which right now in her mind, led them to suicide and she could never forgive him for that. She watched his green eyes look up above her head, knowing people were slowly approaching. Maybe they could stop her before it went too far.

"Come on, just sit down Xi." She felt a hand on her shoulder, refusing to look up but realizing it was Genesis just by the quiet concern in his voice, the slight exaggerated weight of his hand as he almost tried to force her down physically. Xion merely shrugged him off and walked closer to Axel.

"No! NO! He doesn't deserve to be here!"

"I didn't come to cause problems. I really just want to pay my respects to Demyx."

"Leave!" She didn't let the tears spill over, she wouldn't. She had to appear furious, not completely heartbroken. And then heavier hands. Vincent behind her, she almost collapsed, knowing he would only scoop her up into his arms and for a second, it might feel better. But she needed to be stronger than that.

"No. He's not leaving." And then this guy, this fucking _kid_ emerged from behind Axel, as if he was in hiding beforehand.

"You can't-"

"Well we are." And this fucking kid dared to interrupt her. He was stronger than she was, he was unafraid and she couldn't handle that.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" She whispered in shock, unable to process what was happening at this point. All she wanted, all she _needed_ was to be able to say goodbye to Zexion without all this crap. To say goodbye to Demyx without the drama. To be able to say goodbye to both of them, together, as they would have loved to be considered. It was too much.

"I'm not anyone. But we're not here to do anything but listen." And then it broke. Anything that was keeping her up at this point, the thing that was managing to keep her strong was just diminished now. She felt ridiculous as she started sobbing, running from under the weight of Vincents hands and bursting through the door, immediately feeling nauseous under the sunshine.

"I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this..." Xion whined quietly as she crouched against the side of the building, pressing her face into her hands, laying her hands atop her bent knees. She felt her entire body shake as she cried, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. Watching them fall to the pavement, she wondered how much crying she would have to do to just fucking drown in it. How horribly poetic it would be to drown in her own tears, very Alice-esqu if Alice had managed to flood Wonderland with her own misery. The door opened but she didn't bother looking to see who it was. She didn't care. Lofty footsteps, she saw black boots, the ones that never left his damn feet, she watched them as he sat on the ground across from her.

"Xion," he said quietly, stroking the hair from her forehead. "Xi," Vincent sighed, shifting to sit next to her, leaning his back against the wall and finding it not the least surprising when she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest and sobbing loudly, muffled by his shirt. She put on such a tough front but he couldn't count the times he had to comfort her, because of a boy or a girl or her parents or anything miniscule. It's what he loved about her, he loved being strong for her, but she never needed to know. "Hey, it's ok. You don't have to be so strong," he said with a slight smile as he continued stroking her hair. "No one expects you to be _strong_ right now."

"I can't do this Vince, I just can't do it. I thought I could, I thought I was stronger but I'm just so fucking weak I can't stand myself."

"Xion, this is tough on everyone. It's gonna be tough on you. You're only human so you have to let yourself be." She continued weeping, finally feeling over-the-edge nauseous.

"Uugh," she moaned as she flew away from him, leaning to the opposite side as she threw up on the pavement, the parking lot of the church. Vincent merely rubbed her back, still smiling gently. He had done this too many times before too. "Gross, I hate doing that..." Xi sighed out quietly, feeling somewhat better. She looked up at Vincent as she wiped her mouth, scooting away from the vomit and unavoidably ending up in his lap. How did they always end up like this? She leaned against his chest and took deep breaths. "I didn't mean to scream at Axel like that." It was difficult to admit, but it had to be done.

"I know you didn't."

"I just...I had to scream at someone and he was the first one I saw, he's easy to blame."

"That's what Axel is good for," Vincent said with a grin. Xion sat upright and stared at him.

"Thank you," she said as she tried to catch her breath still.

"For what?"

"For always, I dunno, being there. You're always there when I need you, you've always been there and I feel like you don't get enough appreciation." Xion wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head against his shoulder. "It's not your fault." She whispered, tears spilling again. He didn't respond, didn't say a word. "_It's not your fault."_ She whispered breathlessly, pressing her cheek against his. Still no response, his breathing didn't cease, the only sign that he had heard her was his arms tightening around her waist as she reburied her face in his shoulder.

~0~

As the service started, Xion sat with her hand tightly coiled into Vincent's. He knew she would run again, he was merely trying to prevent it as long as he could. They sat at the front with the family. Lulu leaned forward and softly patted the non-constricted hand of Xion, who looked back at her with a sad smile.

"Are you alright sweetie?" It was like a knife in the heart. She felt so selfish. How could she be acting like this when it wasn't just her? She didn't just lose Zexion, everyone lost Zexion and Demyx. And here was their mother, practically her second mother, asking if _she_ was alright.

"I'm fine Mrs Loire, how are you?"

"I'm just fine," she said as she shook her head and shrugged with a smile, the way people do when they're trying to convince you they're fine when they are clearly not. Xion could only smile and nod, trying to not let her eyes well up again. Mr and Mrs Loire sat next to Tifa who sat next to Aerith who sat with her arm wrapped around Xion. Vincent then Gen then Cid and Cloud. Xion sat in the middle of love and for a moment she felt at ease, like maybe she could handle it. But once the preacher stood in front of them, she felt her stomach sink.

"Loved ones, today we gather here to remember two boys have touched our lives immensely. Zexion and Demyx were two incredibly different boys but they were bonded by blood. The bond of two brothers can't possibly be broken." She felt her heart practically snap in two once that word left his mouth. _Brothers._ No one would ever have any idea, except her. Maybe it was too much for her to handle. No one would know what they really had, how much they really loved each other. How much they had sacrificed to protect everyone else that they loved, so they wouldn't have to feel this deep, mind blowing confusion. "It is so unfortunate that these two youths felt the need to take their own lives, but it is fitting that they should go together for in life, they were closer than any average set of brothers." That was all she could take. She pried her hand away from Vincent, murmuring 'excuse me, excuse me' as she rushed down the aisle. She didn't feel her legs start to pick up pace, she didn't realize she was running.

"Xion?" Genesis whispered but it was too late, the doors had already flown open and they all heard the sound of her scream as she ran into the lobby. Vincent started to stand but Aerith only shook her head and excused herself.

"I'll go talk to her, you've done enough Vince." She said with a kind smile at him before she started patiently walking down the aisle and out the door. "Xi?"

"I'm sorry, I promised myself no more drama, but I couldn't stay in there and listen."

"It's alright, it's fine." Aerith said with understanding as she took a seat beside her on the bench of the lobby. "Do you wanna just sit out here?"

"For a while I think," she nodded, staring at the deep red carpeting of the giant room. They sat in silence, hearing the door open and close as Xion continued staring at the ground. Aerith saw Namine slip out the door, watched two girls rush to the parking lot, saw the kid who came along with Axel silently stroll outside. "Ok, I'm ready." Xion said finally with a deep breath.

"Xi, before we go back in can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, is something wrong?" _Besides everything_. She tried to not be bitter but it was hard still.

"No, nothing's wrong. But, Vincent, I was just wondering, has he been alright?"

"He's been as fine as he can be I guess," Xion said with a gentle shrug. He never talked. Not that she was complaining, but maybe it would help him. She wasn't overtly fond of talking about emotions, she was a bottler-upper, and thats the way she liked her friends. But Xion at least cried, she sobbed and wept when she needed to, in private of course. Almost private. Vincent was her go to, the one who would always comfort her no matter what.

"Xion, you have to...pay attention. Xi, he loves you. I know Vincent, you know Vincent and he doesn't talk, but he loves you."

"Aerith, I can't do this right now." She sighed and rubbed her face, silently thinking. "Aer, do you believe in love?"

"What?"

"I just, I have to know. I have to know that the smartest person I've ever known believes in love because if you don't I don't know what I'll do." The brunette woman was quiet as she stared at the younger girl next to her. This young girl who she knew always had problems. She knew Xion had watched her parents divorce, been in too many relationships despite being only seventeen, had struggled with the idea of this concept forever. Dated guys, girls, older, younger, anyone she could get her hands on.

"I think sometimes..." She tried to think of the exact way she should say it. "Yes, just simply yes. I believe in love. More than anything else, which may sound stupid but-" She halted as she felt Xion hug her tightly.

"Thank you, for saying that." Xion wouldn't tell her, wouldn't tell anyone but the fact that Aerith believed, she felt better. Xion felt like maybe she could handle carrying this around with her.

"People love each other for a reason, even if no one else understands it. And as long as you love, there's nothing else to worry about."

"I love you Aerith,"

"Oh, I love you too Xi." She said with quiet surprise. Maybe Xi was finally getting it.

* * *

No no it's not beta-ed, so sorry if it was like horrible. I just don't have the patience to run through it. Anyways! I hope it was enjoyable! Or at least, you know, interesting. I'm not sure how enjoyable it can possibly be reading about Xion pretty much losing it and going crazy.


	17. Chapter 17

Whaaaaat? Finally another freaking chapter of this? I like this one, like a lot, like lots and lots, it might be my favorite chapter of this yet that isn't Xion.

* * *

It was time to start moving on. The summer had closed with the funeral, mere days of balmy, sweaty sunshine left. And now, two months later, the autumn chill had begun to swirl around them. It was no longer necessary to remind themselves that Zexion and Demyx were gone, it was only a fleeting thought that would scurry away almost as soon as it came. Tifa tried not to let it depress her, she would remind herself of all the happy memories that she had with them. It was more than most people got, right?

"Aerith?"

"Yes?" The tall brunette maneuvered around the door, her hands gripping the wood as she peered around the edge. "Do you need help?"

"Yes please," Tifa said with a grin, desperately pushing a box against the wall to keep it up. "Can you just grab this end? It's heavier than I thought it was." Aerith smiled as she walked over, placing her hands under and gently pulling it away from it's balancer. "Is there still room in the car?"

"Yeah, we can fit this one in but if there's any more boxes, they'll have to go in the truck with the furniture." Tifa nodded as they began walking carefully through the now empty living room of their apartment. The walls no longer held the pictures they had lovingly put up, the furniture no longer pressed into the carpet. This box was the last thing left.

"There aren't any more boxes." She said, a tad saddened and hazed. This was their first home together, this was where they learned to cook curry, where they had had friends over, where they decided they would get married. "I can't really believe we're moving." Her girlfriend nodded, smiling as she focused on walking backwards, sighing with relief as they slid the box into the back seat of her car.

"It'll be fun, like a new adventure." She reassured the raveonette kindly but Tifa knew that was a false statement. Nothing was new about her hometown. She had worked so hard to get out of there, and now she was returning. But she needed to be, she needed to be closer to her mother, her father, familiarity.

"No it won't, but I love you so much for coming with me."

"Come on, like I was gonna let you go back there without me, with Yuffie still there? No freaking way." Aerith said with a grin as she laid her hands against her lower back, sliding her thumbs up the edge of her cropped tee shirt as she shook her long ponytail. Tifa smiled as she noticed how adorable Aerith looked in overalls, she had to be the only person on the planet who could wear overalls and still look beautiful. "What are you staring at?" She asked when she noticed the odd way her girlfriend looked at her.

"Nothing, are you ready to go?" Aerith looked over the other woman's shoulder, staring longingly at the small house they were leaving, but she nodded. Her heart was screaming no, practically sobbing at the idea of going back to that little town but that's where they needed to be.

"Yep, let's get on the road." They pressed their lips together momentarily before climbing into their vehicles, Aerith taking her place in the small car with the boxes, Tifa clambering up into the truck. And they drove, and drove, and drove some more until they were finally there, watching the same surroundings they'd watched when they were younger.

"Hi girls!" Lulu exclaimed with an energetic wave as Tifa hopped out of the enormous vehicle. She couldn't help but smile, her mother was doing so much better than she was only a month ago. There were still times she would get weepy, just start crying, but for the most part, she was doing better.

"Hi mom," she sighed as she let her mom squeeze her. That was one of the things that changed though, the hugging. They were a lovey family before, but now, any opportunity, Mrs. Loire would pull someone, anyone close to her, and hold onto them for dear life until they both felt a little dizzy but elated.

"Hi," Aerith grinned as her soon to be mother-in-law hugged her, looking at Tifa who could only roll her eyes, with good intentions of course.

"We set up the guest room for you so you don't have to sleep in the apartment until it's completely ready." She explained as she nodded, watching both girls.

"Thanks mom," her daughter replied. Short, appreciative answers were the best she had learned rather quickly. It was ok to get upset, to get angry, to cry or lash out at someone, but not at her mother. "Is there food?"

"Oh yeah, I made dinner. It's all ready, just waiting in the kitchen." Tifa and Aerith grinned thankfully as they followed the older woman into the house, entwining their fingers as they walked down the path. Tifa took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, her stomach, everything about returning to her childhood home. It was odd, the feeling of returning home not for a visit. She knew her and Aerith would be staying there for at least a few nights, staying in the room that was once hers, now the pale-pink guest room with the frilled throw pillows she had begged her mother not to buy. She knew they'd be staying next to the room that once shared a wall with Demyx's room and she remembered making the knocking language. One knock meant good night, two knocks meant I love you, three rapid knocks meant shut the fuck up. She giggled despite herself, taking another deep breath as she crossed the threshold. She knew they'd be staying in the room that was across the hall from Zexion's and she remembered when they were younger, how they would hide behind their doors and throw whatever they could get their hands on at each other. She knew they'd be staying in the house where she'd grown up with her brothers, where they'd fought and played and loved each other. And now, she would just miss them in this house. "Spaghetti's alright?"

"Spaghetti's perfect." Tifa nodded, thankful when her mother forced her out of her own mind. She smiled, waiting for her mother to walk into the kitchen, and then she broke, but only slightly. Aerith hugged her tightly as she silently wept, wiping her eyes quickly to dispel any tears that had the nerve to try and make it down her face.

"You gonna be ok? If you wanna go upstairs, I'll tell your mom you needed a nap or something."

"No, I'm fine. It's just...it was a rush. But I'm fine now." Tifa smiled and nodded, but it was fake. Aerith knew those fake smiles better than anyone and it stung to have to see them.

"Alright." She said firmly, placing her own false smile on her face, braiding their fingers together again. One day they'd be fine, she knew it. They were fine most days, but some days were more difficult than others. This was one of those days that were more difficult.

~0~

"You two must be exhausted," Laguna said as he leaned back in his chair, exhaling happily. "If you wanna go straight to sleep, it'd be fine."

"That might be a good idea." Tifa said as she leaned her elbow down on the table, resting her forehead in her palm, feeling the reassuring hand of her fiance on her shoulder.

"Well come on, I'll get some blankets for you guys." Lulu said with a grin as she stood, leading the two women up the stairs. She walked with confidence down the hall, straight to the closet, not stopping to look at either of the closed doors. Tifa wasn't used to seeing them though, she hadn't conditioned herself to not look at them, not think about those closed doors, and so she stood, one door on either side of her, feeling trapped by them suddenly. It was something else, some sort of masochistic demon inside of her that forced her to turn that knob and let the door swing open. Lulu stopped any movement when she heard it open, turning around slowly to watch her daughter. "The doctor...my psychiatrist said t would be the best."

"It's...empty. You cleaned out his room. You cleaned out _their_ rooms."

"Sweetie, I had to."

"What'd you do with the stuff?" She asked nervously, feeling her heartbeat quicken. Aerith could only stand and watch the train wreck in slow motion.

"We...donated the clothes, the books-"

"You got rid of Zexion's books," she said and the tears just came. She didn't try to stop them, she was too furious.

"Tifa, we saved anything important. We have boxes of stuff in the attic, but we couldn't keep everything the way it was."

"Well why not?" She screamed, her voice cracking through the sobs.

"Because they're not coming back Tifa!" Her mother screamed back. "They're not just away on a trip and coming back!"

"No no no," she shook her head furiously as her body leaned, crashed into the wall, slumped onto the floor. Aerith jumped forward, trying to keep her held up, but it didn't matter, and so she sat on the floor next to her.

"Sweetie," Lulu said, silent tears blurring her vision. "I know, I know." She cooed as she kneeled next to her daughter, pulling her close to her, into her, feeling her chest caving in as she tried to take her daughter into her. "We couldn't leave it like it was, we couldn't..." she had to stop to breathe, her lungs couldn't handle speaking, crying, breathing all at once. "We couldn't leave it sealed up and the same, like a tomb. It's not...healthy. It's not healthy for anyone to have the constant reminder like that." Tifa only continued sobbing, but she knew it was true. She knew that it couldn't have all stayed like that forever. She just wasn't expecting it to all be gone so soon. And so they stayed like that, mother cradling crying daughter in her arms, kneeling and crumpled, Aerith's arm wrapped around her lovers shoulders.

~0~

Eventually, they were able to stop, and after something like that, Tifa felt surprisingly better. She was still upset, still missed her brothers, but something in her was gone, and she didn't necessarily miss that. She didn't miss that nagging little voice in her head that would constantly remind her that they were gone.

"Are you ok?" Aerith asked quietly, gently stroking her girlfriend's face.

"I'm alright, I sort of freaked out didn't I?" Tifa asked as she stared up at the face above hers, shrouded in the darkness of the room. She nestled deeper into her pillow.

"Kind of," she replied with a smile, finally laying down next to her, laying her arms across her stomach. "But it's ok."

"Why do you think they did it?" She asked. It was a question both needed to ask each other, but the threat of it was always too big.

"I really don't know." Aerith admitted as she frowned, watching Tifa stare at the ceiling. She moved her body closer.

"Do you think there was something wrong? Something they couldn't tell me?"

"I don't...I don't think so. I mean, they both told you so much. Even Zex, when he would talk." Tifa scoffed with a grin, shaking her head as her eyes dilated.

"I just...I can't help feeling something must've been really wrong to do something like that. I know they both had issues, problems, whatever, but I never thought anything was a big deal, to either of them. Demyx was always smiling, he _always_ seemed happy. And Zex, Zex just let everything roll off his back. So it must've been something."

"Maybe it's better we don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Even if they were here, maybe they couldn't even explain it. People do things for a really wide variety of reasons, but maybe they just felt like it was time to go?"

"They're probably happier anyways right?" Aerith thought for a second. She had been raised a christian, to believe in God, to believe in what the church had to say, that the church was always right. That suicide was a sin that could _never_ be forgiven. But it was that same church that had turned it's back on her when she came out as gay. Those christians who had once told her God loved everyone equally and we were all created in his image, they had told her she was disgusting and perverted for disobeying God's law of love. Her own parents had cast her aside as if she was broken, a lost cause. But didn't God love everyone? And how could this loving God see what she had with Tifa, how much they loved each other, and say no to that? What kind of God would turn his back on two boys like Zexion and Demyx? No God she wanted to believe in.

"I think so, yes. And think about it, they were so close, and now they have each other forever." Aerith said, feeling relief wash over her as she saw Tifa's small smile through the darkness.

"Yeah, I mean they've gotta be in heaven."

"Absolutely. They were both so sweet and incredible, they loved everyone so much, even if Zex wouldn't admit it." Tifa laughed again, music to her girlfriend's ears. "God doesn't cast anyone aside, he loves _everyone_ equally."

"He does doesn't he?" She said with a sigh. Every day she felt a little better, and Aerith had everything to do with that.

* * *

So every once in a while, I write something that even I consider to be pretty good. I mean, I'm sorta tough on my actual writing, not my ideas or anything, but the way I literally write things, and that last section there? Especially the part about God, I am pretty damn proud of myself for that. That pretty much expresses how I feel about God, religion, what have you. Yep, that's all! Hope you guys liked it! Now maybe that I only have 3 chapters left of this I'll start another story...


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